


You Are Not Alone

by benblatt



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, So is evan, alana larry and heidi are just mentioned, connor is a good boyfriend, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-06 06:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benblatt/pseuds/benblatt
Summary: Connor comes to comfort Evan after a long day and vice versa.





	1. Evan

Evan's been acting distant lately.

Connor’s noticed that Evan had been quieter at school, and seemed more tired than usual. He wasn't sure if it was something he did, or if Evan just wasn't feeling well. Either way, he doesn't think he's had an actual, meaningful conversation with him in two days.

That’s why when he got a text from Evan after school Wednesday, he was surprised.

**from: Evan:)**

**Do you want to come over and do homework with me?**

**to: Evan:)**

**On my way!**

**to: Evan:)**

**no i mean omw**

**to: Evan:)**

**autocorrect can suck my ass**

Connor shakes his head and grabs his backpack He shoves his phone into his pocket and calls out to Zoe as he puts his shoes on. "I'm going to Evan's, can I use the car?"

"I was gonna go to Alana's." Zoe walked out of the kitchen, apple in hand.

"Please? Evan's been kinda weird lately. He seems.. off." Connor stands up, shoes tied. "I can take you to Alana's super quick if you want to, though."

Zoe nodded. She grabbed her backpack, slipping on her shoes and taking a bite of her apple. Connor rolled his eyes when he saw her shoes.

"I hate your stupid crocs."

Zoe stuck her tongue out. "They're fashionable. You're just jealous you don't have a pair yourself."

"I'm really not."

The two left the house, locking the door. Connor unlocked the car and they both got in. The older adjusted the mirror, both of them putting on their seat belts. Connor started the car and pulled out of the driveway in the direction of Alana's house. 

Connor and Zoe were slowly mending their once broken relationship, and were getting better at actually talking to one another. They still have their fights, but they aren’t nearly as bad as before. Connor has to admit that it’s nice to be civil, and maybe even friends, with his sister. 

"Why is Evan off lately?" Zoe asked. Connor looked at his sister out of the corner of his eye.

"He just seems distant." Connor frowned.

"Do you think he wants to break up?" Zoe took another bite of her apple.

Connor bit his lip. "I hope not."

"I don't think he wants to," Zoe supplied. "I see how he looks at you, Connor. He's smitten."

The brunet tries not to smile. "I am too."

"I know."

Connor doesn't reply, so Zoe turns up the radio a bit. She quietly hummed along to the song playing.

Five minutes later, Connor was pulling into Alana's driveway. He stopped the car as Zoe unbuckled her seat belt. She grabbed her bag and got out. "Bye Connor."

"Wait, do I need to pick you up?"

"Nah. Alana will probably take me home."

Connor furrowed his eyebrows. "Why didn't she just pick you up?"

"Bye!" she grinned and waved, going up to the front door. Connor rolled his eyes, but he didn't really mind taking her. Alana's house was on the way to Evan's anyways. He made sure that Zoe got inside before pulling out of the driveway and starting the drive to Evan's house.

Connor tried not to think too much about Evan the way there. He really hoped his boyfriend was okay.

The brunet pulled into Evan's driveway ten minutes later. He grabbed his backpack and got out of the car, locking it and shoving the keys into his pocket. Connor walked up to the front door and knocked. It opened only a moment later, Evan standing in the doorway.

"Hey."

"Hi." Evan moved out of the way so Connor could walk in. The taller took his shoes off and Evan closed the door behind him.

"How are you?"

"I'm, uh, I'm fine."

Connor bit his lip. "Are you sure?"

Evan nodded quickly. Connor decided not to say anything yet. Instead, he followed Evan to his bedroom and sat on the bed next to him. He pulled his math homework and a pencil out of his backpack. He scanned the page and began working on the first problem. Next to him, he felt Evan fidgeting.

A tense silence washed over the two of them. Evan was pretending to read a book they were assigned in english. Connor stayed quiet, waiting for Evan to speak up.

"Hey Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh, do you s-still like me?"

Connor looks at his boyfriend and raises an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Just, um, checking." Evan turns back to his book, avoiding eye contact.

"Hey," Connor put his homework down, shifting to sit in front of Evan. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Evan puts his book down too, but still refused to look up. "I don't know."

Connor grabs his hands. "Of course I still like you, Ev. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Why?"

“My anxiety has been kind of crappy lately. It’s like the meds aren’t working as much as they used to.” Evan finally looks up at him. 

"Have you talked to your doctor about it?"

“I haven’t seen him in like a week and a half. He thought I was getting better, so I only have appointments once every other week. My next one’s in a few days, but yeah."

"When you see him, tell him about what’s happening. And then see if he can do appointments every week again."

Evan sighs. “Yeah, it’s just I don’t really have a ride anymore and I don’t wanna bother my mom. She’s been really busy lately, she even missed out on Taco Tuesday yesterday. She almost never does."

"Ev, I can take you if you want. It’s really not a big deal." Connor brings one of Evan’s hands up to his mouth and kisses it gently.

"No, it’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it, Con. I’ll figure it out.”

Connor shakes his head. “Evan, I want to.”

“Really? Because what if it gets too excessive and you don’t want to take me anymore but you _have_ to and then you’ll get sick of me and want to break up with me?”

"Hey," Connor reaches over to cup Evan's cheek. "I’m not gonna get sick of you Ev. And I’m definitely not gonna break up with you. If you need someone to take you to therapy, I’d be happy to. I want you to get better, and I want to do whatever I can to help.”

“Are you sure?”

Connor nods. “Absolutely positive.”

"Okay," Evan takes in a deep breath. "Thank you."

Connor smiles softly at him. "Of course. Is that all that's been bothering you?"

"School’s kind of stressing me out. You know, with graduation and college so soon.”

Connor nods. “Yeah.”

Evan moves over to sit in-between Connor's legs. He rests his head on Connor’s chest, taking in the now comforting atmosphere. The brunet wraps his arm around Evan’s waist, holding him closer. Evan reaches up, poking Connor’s cheek.

"Hm?" Connor looks down at him.

"Nothing. Just wanted to look at you." Evan smiled shyly. Connor's heart skipped a beat as he leaned down to kiss the top of Evan’s head. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Connor whispers. Evan’s eyes fill with tears as he stares at his boyfriend. Connor’s eyes widen and he starts to backtrack.

“Shit, did I say something wrong?”

Evan quickly shakes his head. “N-No! You, um, I’m just a bit emotional today. You’re beautiful too, Connor. So freaking beautiful. And you can always come to me and talk if you need to. No matter when or why, I’m always here to listen.”

“Thanks, Evan.” Connor leans down, kissing his boyfriend on the lips. Evan returns the kiss gently. It only lasts for a moment before the both pull away and Evan’s head is back on Connor’s chest.

“We should finish our homework.” Evan mumbles.

“We can later. I just want to hold you a little bit longer.” Connor responds, tightening his grip around Evan’s waist.

Evan smiles up at him. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”


	2. Connor

Evan was laying in bed when Connor called him. It was almost ten at night, which was odd since he knew Evan tried to go to bed around now. He also knew it was urgent, because Connor would only call if it was. He knew how much Evan hated talking on the phone.

"H-Hello?"

"I'm coming over." Connor sounded upset. Evan could tell Connor was in the car, since he was using the car speaker rather than holding the phone to his ear.

"Um, okay. Is everything okay?"

"See you soon." With that, Connor hung up. 

Evan pulled the phone away from his ear, confused. Was Connor okay? What happened? Was he hurt?

The blond bit his lip and his hands started to shake. Connor lived almost fifteen minutes away from him. Evan looked at his clock, staring at it until he got another phone call a few minutes later.

"Connor?"

"Can you open the window?" he didn't sound any less upset than earlier. If anything, he sounded worse.

"Yeah uh," he walked over and opens the window. "Come in."

Connor hung up and Evan sat on his bed. A minute later, his boyfriend crawled through the window. His hair was a mess, looking like he was pulling on it out of frustration. He was wearing one of Evan's hoodies, a pair of black sweatpants and the slippers Evan got him for christmas. He closed the window and started to pace around the room.

"Why does Larry always have to make stupid offhand comments? Why can't he just pretend to be okay with my meds and therapy? Why can't he see that I'm trying to get better? Why am I such a fucking failure to him?

Connor was yelling at this point. Thank god his mom was working the overnight shift.

Evan got up from the bed and stood in front of his boyfriend. He gently grabbed his arms and untangled them from his hair. "Connor."

The brunet immediately broke down into tears. This wasn't the first time he's seen him cry, but it still hurt just as much.

He brought Connor over to the bed and sat down. Connor sat down next to him and buried his face into Evan's neck. The blond wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back comfortingly. He whispered softly in Connor’s ear as the other continued to cry.

“I don't get it, Ev. Why does he hate me?” Connor mumbled into his neck. "He doesn't hate you, Con. I promise." Evan hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head.

After crying a bit more, Connor calmed down a few minutes later. When he pulled his head back to look at his boyfriend, Evan smiled sadly and wiped some of the tears off his cheek. 

“What exactly happened?”

"We got into a fight at dinner. He said something stupid about my recovery, like how I wasn't spending enough time with them. I do spend time with them, he just isn't home often enough to see it. I got upset, and eventually he used it as proof that the meds and therapy weren't working. I don't think he meant it, but it hurt. I thought I was getting better, but I guess not in his mind."

Connor leaned into Evan again, wrapping his arms around his waist. He put his head back in Evan’s neck and let a few more tears fall down. The blond simply tightened his grip around the other.

"You are getting better, Connor. Every single day. He said that in the heat of the moment, but I doubt that's how he actually feels. And even if he really doesn't, I do. Zoe does. Your mom does. _You_ do."

Connor didn't say anything for a moment, and Evan was convinced he made it worse. He considered taking it back when Connor spoke up quietly. “I’m kinda hungry.”

Evan looked down at him. “Let’s go eat then.”

Connor pulled away from Evan’s embrace and they both stood up.

“Come on, let’s go get food.” Connor nodded and followed Evan down the stairs into his kitchen.

Connor opened the fridge, staring into it as Evan stood behind him. “What are you looking for?”

“I’m not sure,” Connor looks for another minute. “Want some scrambled eggs?”

Evan shrugged and stepped back. “Sure.”

The brunet grabbed the carton of eggs out of the fridge and put them on the counter. He then got a pan from the cabinet and put it on the stove. He wiped his eye to stop another excess tear from falling.

“Do you need butter?” Evan’s looking into the fridge now.

“Yeah, can you turn on the stove and put some butter in the pan?” 

Evan nodded, doing so. Connor washed his hands before bringing the carton of eggs to the counter next to the stove. He cracked two eggs in the pan, grabbing a spatula and pushing them around a bit. Evan wrapped his arms around Connor’s waist from behind, watching Connor over his shoulder.

“Is your mom home?”

“No, she has an overnight shift.”

Connor nodded. “I was gonna knock on the door but I wasn’t sure.”

Evan shook his head fondly. “You could of asked.”

“Yeah, I guess. But I was already standing outside your window.” 

Evan shrugged. He kissed Connor’s cheek, and moved a piece of hair out of his face.

The two stood in silence as Connor finishes the eggs. Evan pulls away from his boyfriend, opening the cupboard and taking out two plates.

Connor turned the stove off as Evan put the plates on the counter next to him. The brunet placed some eggs on both plates before putting the dirty pan in the sink to wash later. While he did that, Evan grabbed forks and napkins. He got two cups out of the cupboard before closing it and turning to Connor.

“What do you want to drink?”

“Water in fine.” Connor replies. Evan nods, filling both of the cups up with water as Connor brought their food, forks and napkins into the living room. Evan walked in a minute later, putting both of the cups on the coffee table. Connor handed Evan his plate as they both sat on opposite ends of the couch.

The two ate in silence, both wondering exactly why they were sitting so far apart. When Connor finished his plate, he placed it on the coffee table and sat next to Evan. The blond finished not long after, putting his plate next to Connor’s.

“C’mere.” Evan mumbled, opening his arms. Connor crawled into them, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Evan tightened his arms around Connor and kissed the top of his head. He absent-mindedly plays with Connor’s hair, the other leaning in to place a kiss on his neck. Evan watched as Connor yawns and snuggled deeper into his embrace.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” Connor nodded, standing up. Evan stood as well and grabbed Connor’s hand, leading him up the stairs. Once they were both in his bedroom, Evan closed the door and turned off the light.

The two crawled into Evan’s bed, and Connor cuddled up next to his boyfriend almost immediately. Evan pulled the blanket up to cover both of them and moved closer to Connor. The brunet brought Evan’s hand up to his mouth and kissed it.

“Thanks for making me feel better.”

“Of course, Con.” Evan leaned down and kissed Connor gently on the lips. Connor returned it happily, unlacing their fingers to place his hand on Evan’s cheek. They pulled away and smiled softly at one another.

“I love you.” Connor whispered.

“I love you too. So much.” Evan moved another piece of hair out of his face. “God, you have so much hair.”

Connor laughed quietly, which turned into another yawn. He rested his head on Evan’s chest and closed his eyes. “Thanks again. I appreciate it. And you.”

Evan smiled and wrapped his arm around Connor’s waist. “Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys don't know how much i went through to post this.. i hate being sick  
> also LISTEN TO MARRICK SMITH'S MUSIC. pls. you won't regret it  
> oh and quick question! i came up with this dumb kinda story where evan and connor are both ghosts and screw around together and obviously there's more but like idk if i should write it.. would you guys read it or nah?  
> thanks for reading <3 see you next time! :)

**Author's Note:**

> part 2 will be posted on like, thursday? yea thursday! :)  
> this is kinda a gift to my best friend for our 2 years of marriage (2/27) hehe  
> so yea, happy almost 2 years of marriage madelyn, here's some treebros  
> thanks for reading! see you guys thursday <3


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